Thank Goodness for Small Blessings :)

Well it's been a really good but very tiring week for us !!!

We found out that my husband's disability benefits were approved .. so that was step one .. ! We also got qualified for a rental subsidy which will help us out until i find work again .. :) .

And this weekend went so fast .. my youngest boy turned 15 on Saturday .. took him to see New Moon .. I even enjoyed it .. ! We have a nice neighbor to clip my doggies nails for us without her biting the poor woman ... we had put up our freezer for sale and thats how we met her .. she bought it from us !! Turns out shes done Pet Grooming for 10 yrs ... so thank you Lord for small blessings!! One more happy bit of news my oldest son got his High School Diploma in the mail on Friday .. Somehow we got him thru it I have no idea .. but he made it whohoooo ... in many ways that boy has been my greatest challenge in this life but he s growing into a fine young man and im so proud of him !!! :D

So far things that I have been praying so hard are starting to come true ... I m glad I have kept my faith and hung in there .. but it's never been easy. I am also happy to say that the stronger meds my doc put me on for anxiety attacks are finally doing its job !!

My blues are finally gone .. either that or i m just finally dealing with everything .. its been alot to handle lately .. i miss my mum and dad still very much but i know they are both out of pain now and for that I am grateful .. And also they both had come to accept the Lord into their lives ... and that also gives my heart peace of mind :) . It's so great to blog with a joyful heart .. and i am finally going to put up my Christmas decorations .. am finally getting into the Spirit of it all :) ... !! Happy Holidays my dear friends ... and thanks for reading through my dribble .. i know its not been very positive or fun lately .. but i always keep it real .. God bless you my friends .. xxx

Please keep my family in your thoughts & Prayers

I wonder if God is testing me right now .. because i cannot think of any other reason why all this is happening at once to my family.

These past 6 months .. (particulary the past 7 weeks alone) have been heart wrenching for my family .. I have already talked about most or some of these with others here .. and thanks so much to you all who have shown your love and support though this time .

In late April of this year my beautiful mother passed away .. after fighting lung cancer for the past 8 years . Its such a sad irony when something like this brings one closer to their Mother .. but in this case it did .. A year ago i went to spend a week with her in Ottawa and we laughed, cried and just enjoyed being together for that time . I am both sad but yet relieved that she is out of her pain finally .. she was tired and finally asked God to take her home .
'Miss you Mom"

Six weeks ago, near the end of September i got a phone call from my half sister ... My father had also passed on ... his cancer was both in the liver and his colon .. it was very fast one in his case .. .drs said in the beginning he would be gone in 2 months .. he made it to 18 bless him !!! He was always smiling and so strong most of his life ... He was a truck driver for many years .. away for weeks at a time when he drove all through Canada & USA. But eveyrone that met him remembered him .. he lit up a room when he entered it .. some thought him too loud and brash ... but that was how my Dad was ... he cared deeply for his family and worked hard all his life . This one has been much harder for me to deal with .. it just progessed so quickly in his case. Again i am glad he is out of his pain .. but i shall miss my wonderful Dad who always made me laugh .. 'you had the best hugs dad .. i miss you so very much'

A week before that i was fired from my job and my oldest son moved out ... and for those of you who have been thru this its not easy to let go when your child moves out !!!

Meanwhile my husbands health has been getting worse this year too .. this summer he finally went to drs to find out why his left hand was shaking so badly ... it has now progressed to the entire arm ... After doing some tests and seeing 3 different drs .. they all conclude he s in the early stages of Parkinson's Disease.

Now im not even sure if im going to make my planned trip to the UK now to see my fav band play .. and whats hurting me even more is this may be their last tour ever :(

I've been going thru alot of bad depression in these past weeks including anxiety attacks. I m not trying for sympathy .. but i do think i need prayer to help me cope with everything thats been happening to me and my family this past year ... i also think its sapped most of my strength out of me to be honest .. If i had no faith i would be totally lost here ... I cant do this alone anymore ..

Oh my !!

Been way way wayyyy too long since my last post ... things have really not changed since sadly .. we re still in a bit of a financial bind .. but its slowly turning round ... i pray it stays that way ... My hubbys health has not been the best and that worries me to no end too ... I have to let my faith bring me thru this i think ....

Sorry not too much on blogging tonight but i ll post a fuller update this weekend ....

Ciao for now .....

I've finally come to a realization ...

Well it was NEVER a permanent job with McDonalds ... but these past two weeks have pretty much made up my mind here ...!!!

Well i ve decided i need to get a new job soon . Cannot do the heavy lifting anymore .. its going to cripple me with this bloody knee !! :p But its a good realization ... something needs to be done and soon !!
The said knee was injured last year ... i fell on the ice ... and then it got infected for over a month!!!

Since then it has been on and off with aching ... some days much better then others . Well its been a long time since i ve had serious probs with it but last couple weeks have been bad !!! Then two days ago i lifted heavy boxes at work and i felt sick to my stomach as well as my knee was KILLING me !! Dr told me I cannot heavy lift or pull or push anymore ... Pretty much eliminates half of my job there !!!!

So i m going to be considering my options here .. watch this space !!!

Trying to stay more postive!!!

I've been fighting a horrible case of the 'blues' lately ... And this stupid knee I hurt a year ago isn't helping .. Ya this time last year I could BARELY walk because my knee was infected ... and it ended up me not working for 0ver a month !!!

Well a few lovely friends on Facebook and Myspace reminded me over the past week that I am loved ... to try to keep smiling .. !! And I am .. but it's still a bit of a battle .. the sad feeling is overwealming for me at times so I'm taking it day by day !!

I also think its my worry over my husband with his shoulder after he's had it operated on a month ago.

Spending time with my family .. and putting on some of my fav music has helped at least temporarily .. I just have to get through this ... and only time will help with that !!

Well everyone who knows me .. my fav band is Level 42 ... I am planning a trip out to the UK for late next year to see them play live .. with today's lineup quite a bit different then what it started out with .. I am still in love with the music today .. I think it's planning this out and looking forward to it that's carrying me on through this hard time right now . Ok I know I'm nuts but whatever works lol!!!

You will notice when you open this blog that you will hear some music being played on a music player .. all Level 42 hits :) ... !!

This is a piece of the music that keeps me sane right now :( if all goes as planned that will be me at one of these gigs !! This vid is from the Oct 2008 tour ...and my fav alltime Level 42 song being played - just turn off player at right before you listen lol!!)

Happy Freaking New Year ...NOT .....

...except for the employer it seems !!!!!

Well I knew my hours were being cut a small bit at work 'till Mid Feb .. but to the amount of almost two shifts a week ???? They cut one hour off each shift plus one day a week ... alot more then what we can bloody well afford right now !!!!

What diety is trying to test me now ??? it must have a strange sense of humor because I AM NOT laughing ... and neither is my Hubby .. he absolultely FREAKED OUT on me when he found out ... I told him LOOK THIS IS NOT MY FAULT ... don't you yell at me !!! I don't take crap from anyone anymore ... old age sinking in I guess .... But I am going back to work asking for some of my time restored here .. or this lady will be seriously be thinking of looking elsewhere for work!!!!!